Sweet Jesus, this shit is fucking sucking sweaty donkey balls. Honestly, I think that WCW in its fucking death throes wasn't this badly booked. However, I think this one will be like rubbernecking at an accident- you can't help but look. So out of some fascination, I might go check this one out at a local watering hole. But I definitely won't be plunking down 35 clams for this one. Well, before I use up my limit on swear words and bitching, let's hit the predictions.

 

 

Undisputed Championship
Hollywood Hulk Hogan vs. Undertaker

Yes this has my boy (even though he's been hard to claim these past couple years), Taker in it but I'd be lying if I said I was really, really looking forward to it. As much as I adore the dork, Undie needs an opponent who will work with him in order for him to step it up. And Terry Bollea, who hasn't put on a good match (at least in the 18 years I've known of his existence of the Hulk) ain't it. Cue up the "Chariots of Fire" song because that's about the pace this one will be going. :P

Will Win: From as little as I have watched of this thing on TV, it's kind of hard to say. While Hogan's not mad over like he was, he's still popular. And people find it hard to get behind TruckerBikerRedneckTaker. But I think Undie will take it and go on, feuding with guys like HHH and Austin, the major babyfaces.

 

*lifting up glass of wine* Here's to hoping they keep this one short, sweet, and somewhat painless.

 


Hair vs. Hair Match
Kurt Angle vs. Edge

Man, I saw this with X-Puke/JJ and Rey-Rey/Vampiro (?), Brutus Beefcake, and Adrian Adonis already.

Will Win: Since Angle got the win last time 'round and Edge needs the hair for his rocker deal, I say they'll send the fans home happy and what's left of Kurt's hair will get buzzed.

 


Intercontinental Championship
Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero

Will Win: RVD, if they don't push this fucker to the moon and put him over here, they're nuts. He's mad over and I think the bookers know it, therefore giving RVD the IC. I'm not saying Eddy sucks but RVD is the more over of the two and Lord knows the WWF needs to boost someone up that's charismatic since Dwayne's gone off to Hollywood.

 


Handicap Match
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Ric Flair & Big Show

Oh, who didn't see Ric's turn coming? :P I still dig Ric and I feel bad that he's been saddled with this shitfest of an angle.

Will Win: Austin based on the fact he's been an nWo bitch for weeks now and going by the old formula that he who gets the beatdown before PPV time shall overcome.

 

 

Hell in a Cell
HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Will Win: I think CJ should win this, but I think HHH, based on his last major PPV loss, will take it. This is probably your winner match of the evening, because both of these guys can work it.

 


Tag Match
Hardy Boyz vs. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman

Will Win: I would love to say Lesnar/Heyman, based on the fact I can't stand El Hardys. But Matt and Jeff will triumph here.

 


Tag Team Championship
Billy & Chuck vs. Rikishi and a partner to be named later

Will Win: Rikishi and partner. Gunn and Palumbo are long overdue for a stripping (titles and trunks *g*)

 


Women's Championship
Trish Stratus (with Bubba Ray Dudley) vs. Stacy Keibler (with Reverend D-Von)

Will Win: Trish and you know the former tag team partners will be beating the hell out of each other.

 

 

 

Now for the Totals:

 

(6/8)= 75% Accuracy

Winners:

 


Hogan vs. Undertaker (Taker)= Taker

Kurt Angle vs. Edge (Edge)= Edge

Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero (RVD)= Guerrero

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Ric Flair & Big Show (SCSA)= Austin

HHH vs. Chris Jericho (HHH)= HHH

Hardy Boyz vs. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman (Hardys)= Lesnar/Heyman

Billy & Chuck vs. Rikishi and a partner to be named later (Rikishi and Co.)= Rikishi

Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler (Trish)= Trish

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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